my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
