ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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