can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
