South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
