but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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