Whod you bang
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
