I feel like abortions should bother me more
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
