Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
