he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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