The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I party with great urgency now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
