Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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