Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
