youre lurking in front of me
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
