Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
