I want to stick my p in your. b.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
