quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This toilet bowl is my home.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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