I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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