question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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