I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
