we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
