I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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