I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
