Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
