yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
