I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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