Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
