we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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