So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
bring money and cleavage
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
