Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
