How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
