how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
