Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
