That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
