how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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