Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
