It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So vagazzling was a success
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