I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
