You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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