Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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