Non-Jews are for practice
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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