period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
