oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
