pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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