im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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