At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
