is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
