If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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