who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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