Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
