Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
